Tangled Hearts
by youngmedic
Summary: What if the worst answer that you could get to the most important question that you'll ask is no. Can you move past that, even if it means a life in danger?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys, so it's quite a long time since I posted a new story on here, and this has been sitting on my computer for eternity but I just can't quite get it right! It's a bit out of character, so I hope you don't mind using your imagination a little for parts of it. I'd like to dedicate this one to my friend AnnieGilly for reminding me to post it, and giving me the confidence to do it :)**

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><p>Scully wiped her mouth politely on her napkin, smiling across at the man she loved. She had been surprised when Mulder had suddenly decided to take her on a candlelit dinner, and had decided to make the effort for the one night. It had been worth the extra hour it took her to get ready for the look on his face as he walked into the apartment, taking in everything from her hair tied elegantly back, the necklace sparkling around her neck, the sparkly black ball gown clinging to her curves enticingly at the heeled shoes giving her a few extra inches and making her hips sway seductively as she walked.<p>

For her part, she was having trouble keeping her eyes off him as well, dressed in a black tuxedo and with the most adorable smile on his face for the whole evening. Although, she suspected that she had sported the same look for most of the time as well.

Scully looked up in surprise, only noticing that Mulder had already paid the check as he held his hand out to her to help her stand up, the waiter holding open her coat. She sighed peacefully, not having been able to remember a time when she had felt this comfortable and happy.

Mulder smiled down at her as they left the restaurant. "What would you say to a walk by the river, Scully?" he asked, seeing her smile lovingly up at him.

"I would love to," she replied, putting her arm through his and giving him a squeeze.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, the pretty lights by the river finishing off the evening for her. Mulder stopped part way, leaning against the railings that looked out over the river. Searching his face for a moment, Scully did the same, letting the peacefulness of the moment wash over her as the lights bounced beautifully off the water.

"Scully, I..." Mulder began, before breaking off and clearing his throat nervously. His eyes looked lovingly at her, as he took one of her hands in his own, not missing the surprised and slightly worried frown.

Dropping to one knee, he tried again. "Scully...Dana, you've already made me happier than I ever thought I could be. Would you do me the honour of being my wife?"

Scully felt her jaw drop as her eyes searched his face desperately, panic filling her. She gulped.

"I'm not ready for that kind of commitment, Mulder. I'm not sure either of us are," she choked out, watching as his face fell. He looked crushed, tears springing to her eyes as she watched him stand instantly, her pride willing them not to fall. "Mulder," she started as he turned to walk away. "Mulder! Wait!"

He carried on walking, leaving Scully standing with tears running down her face, watching him walk away. She wanted to run after him, make him listen as she explained what she really meant as she realised how her words had sounded. But somehow, she knew that he needed some time on his own, and that he wouldn't listen to her at that moment. Sighing, she turned for her own apartment, the tears still running unchecked down her cheeks.

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><p>Scully was a little apprehensive heading into work. She hadn't heard anything from Mulder, not that she had really expected to either. Sighing, she walked down the corridor, telling herself that she was only walking slower towards their office because her feet hurt from the night before, not because she was putting off speaking to Mulder again.<p>

She was surprised when she turned the corner and Mulder was not sitting in the office like he usually would be. Thankfully, she sank into her chair, pleased that she was the first one there, the precious moments giving her a chance to compose herself for when Mulder finally arrived. Pulling a pile of files towards her, she turned her chair around to start work, her back to the door.

Getting worried, she summoned up the courage to head over to Mulder's apartment on a break. Knocking briskly at the door, she waited, her anxiety increasing when there was no answer.

"Mulder, it's me. Can I come in?" she said through the door, knocking again. "Please, Mulder, open the door. I just want to talk!" she reassured him, still getting no answer.

Sighing, she dug into her pocket for her key, her hand shaking slightly as she held it up to the door, pushing it open. Everywhere looked the same as usual, with the one exception that Mulder was nowhere to be seen. Making her way methodically through the small apartment, she shook her head in confusion, not finding any sign of him. However, when she looked closer, she saw that there were signs of him having gone. All of the things that mattered the most to him had vanished, like his basketball, a picture of them together, his favourite pen with aliens on that she had bought him one Christmas. She felt tears welling up in her eyes again.

Wandering over to his desk, she found an envelope with her name scribbled on the front waiting for her. Sniffing slightly, she ripped it open, watching as if her heart had just stopped beating when her key fell out, bouncing slightly onto the worn wooden desk. Flipping the envelope over, she let go of the sob she had been holding when she saw that there was nothing else in the envelope. That was the moment when her heart shattered into a thousand pieces, when she knew that Mulder wasn't coming back.

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><p>Scully knocked at the familiar door, knowing from the looks on the three faces that they didn't really want to let her in. She smiled unconvincingly, and stepped inside, watching the bolting routine impassively.<p>

"I need your help to find Mulder," she blurted out, seeing them all avoid her gaze. "Skinner said he quit and gave me the week off, so I have a week to find where he's gone before it's too late."

Byers stepped forwards. "I'm so sorry, Scully, but we can't help. Mulder made us promise that we wouldn't try to find him if you asked, and he checked his cell phone and everything else that was traceable before he left."

She felt tears welling again and looked at the ceiling. Why was it so like Mulder to vanish completely and leave everything behind when she most wanted to speak to him? She refused to accept defeat, there had to be a way to find him.

"What happened between you two love birds anyway?" Frohike asked, wincing as Langley hit him on the shoulder. "What? I'm just curious!"

She shook her head. "What did Mulder tell you?"

"Nothing, he just said he had to go and not to follow him," replied Langley, patting the seat next to him. "We're all really sorry he went. Do you want to stay for a coffee or something?"

She shook her head again, turning back briefly as she headed for the door. "Listen...if you do hear anything from him, will you let me know? Even if...it's just to tell you he's OK. Please?"

Byers nodded. "Of course we will, Scully. Drop by any time you want."

She nodded sadly, Frohike moving to unbolt the door for her and looking after her sympathetically. Closing the door again he sighed, seeing the others looking just as sad for the odd pair that never seemed to be able to recognise how strong the other partner's feelings were.

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><p><strong>So that's the start, I really hope you like it and that it's OK, and once I've tried to sort out the problems with the next chapter I'll get that up too. Enjoy the rest of your weekend! :)<strong>


	2. An Unexpected Meeting

**Hi everyone, thank you so much for reading the first chapter, and for the reviews :) This is the chapter that I kind of ran away with the creative license a bit, but I had a desire to see Mulder in a shirt with big muscles ;) So I hope you don't mind too much! Thanks :)**

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><p>Scully sighed as she sat behind the desk in the office a couple of weeks later. She had tried every way she could think of to get in touch with Mulder, but nothing had been successful. She smiled sadly as her new partner, John Doggett, walked through the door, not missing the sadness still holding her.<p>

"Any word from Agent Mulder yet, Agent Scully?" he asked gently, seeing her shake her head and grab the nearest file. "We'll find him yet, you just see if we don't."

She nodded, looking up with a sigh. "Any new cases, Agent Doggett?" she asked, seeing him continue to look at her for a moment before holding out the file that he was holding.

"Mysterious animal attacks in Chicago do anything for you?" he asked with a smile, seeing her relax slightly into the chair as her eyes skimmed over the information in the file.

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><p>Mulder smiled to himself as he leant on the fence. He had moved to one of the Southern rural towns, taking a job as a farm labourer. He found himself bored by the work, but the constant work kept his mind off Scully and he found that he quite liked being out in the open so much. Besides, it was the only job he had been able to get quickly when his bank balance started to suffer, and which still left him untraceable.<p>

His boss walked over to him, a stalk of something hanging easily from his mouth. He nodded pleasantly to Mulder, who nodded back, watching curiously as his boss leaned against the fence with him.

"I don't like to pry, but what are you doin' here son?" he asked, his rich southern accent shining through. Mulder smiled.

"Working, I hope," he replied, seeing the older man chuckle.

"Now don't mistake ma intentions, boy, you're work's second to nun. I's just wonderin' what a man like you's doin' down here. You've got a head on them there shoulders, and you obviously gotta good education. People like you don't make it down here much."

Mulder smiled, looking down at the grass. "I like the freedom here. Plus, I don't have to think and I can close my mind for a while."

He looked up in surprise as the older man let out a huge guffaw, clapping him around the shoulder friendlily. He wiped at his eyes.

"An' now it makes much more sense. You're a-running away from something. Or someone?" he asked, looking across and seeing that Mulder wasn't going to answer. "Take my advice, boy, an' go an' fix it, before you get stuck here and can't get back."

Mulder nodded sadly, watching as he clapped him around the back of the head affectionately, before wandering back to the other labourers who were all playing a card game with their beers. Hopping up so that he was sitting on the fence, Mulder thought about what his boss had said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his cell phone, flipping it easily between his hands. Looking at it, he sighed, knowing that he couldn't bring himself to turn it on. Putting it away, he grabbed his cap from the corner of the fence, pulling it down over his face against the sun and heading over to claim his beer.

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><p>A few days later, Mulder walked down the small street that made up the high street of the town, nodding to people that he had met since being there. He paused outside a small shop, his eyes lighting up as he read down a notice. He almost laughed at the irony of seeing a poster for an extra-terrestrial conference in a place that like. Intrigued, he noted down the time and place, seeing that it was for that evening, and he only had a couple of hours to wait.<p>

Kicking his heels, he walked into the town hall just in time, grabbing a drink from the long table set up by the door. He took a seat at the back, looking up with interest as the main speaker stood, tapping the microphone and starting his speech.

His interest was lost within a few minutes, at about the time the man started talking about "little green men" and meaning it seriously. The whole thing was a farce. He mentally kicked himself for thinking that it would be anything worth bothering with.

"Spooky, isn't it," the man next to him whispered, Mulder looking at him in surprise as he seemed taken by the whole conference. The words jerked forgotten memories, bringing the memory of a smiling face with red hair back to him as he shook the thought away.

"Yeah. Spooky," he replied, looking down at the programme again.

He was so busy trying not to laugh, that he never looking to the other side of the conference, the red hair sticking out amidst the usual browns of the hats worn by the local community. Her head was down, letting the place remind her of what she had lost for just a few moments. She cursed how she had gotten her hopes up again that Mulder might just be there, only to have them dashed the moment she walked through the door and glanced over the crowd, knowing instantly that he wasn't there.

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><p>Wandering down the buffet table, Scully helped herself to the food, determined that she would get something out of this trip. She froze as a familiar voice floated over to her. She shook her head, telling herself that it was just wishful thinking. However, she couldn't leave it at that, slowly turning to look behind her.<p>

Her heart beat wildly against her chest as she saw Mulder making his way to the table, trying to explain something to one of the other men from the crowd. She dropped her glass, the noise of it smashing making him look up. Their eyes met, both of them frozen to the spot for the moment, Scully sure that her mouth was hanging open in disbelief.

She couldn't believe the change in him, although her body's reaction to his close proximity certainly reminded her that however handsome he had been, he was stunning now. While she had lost some of her colour, her face getting a pinched look from the strain of losing Mulder, he had become tanned, his more developed muscles bulging under the white shirt he wore over both his chest and his arms.

She dragged her eyes back up to his face, licking her lips nervously. This was what she had come here for, and had gone to all of the other insane conferences for, when she had felt like standing up and screaming as he was never there. Nodding to her politely, he turned on his heel and headed for the door.

He turned in surprise as he felt a small hand that could only belong to her close around his arm, not realising how desperate she had been to speak to him that she had almost flattened half of the people there to get to him.

"Mulder, wait, please," she begged him, seeing him look down sadly at her. "Take a walk with me?"

His mind screamed for him to refuse, but with a resigned sigh he felt himself nodding, knowing deep down that even if it cost him everything he had, he could never refuse Scully anything that she asked him.

"OK," he replied uncertainly, seeing her smile reassuringly as she followed him out of the hall into the warm evening air.

They walked in awkward silence for a moment, both of them fighting the mixture of feelings that had started to course through them. Mulder held his hands firmly behind his back, fighting the urge to reach out and touch her, knowing that he still loved her despite the fact that she obviously didn't feel the same. He felt his heart break as he took in her face, looking so ill and strained, although she turned at his look, the familiar smile that he loved so much appearing again for him.

"So, um, how have you been, Mulder?" she asked uncomfortably, blushing slightly. "You look great."

He smiled gently back. "You know, I'm doing alright. It's nice and peaceful here, and nobody tries to kill me," he quipped, seeing her smile softly back at him. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she replied with a nonchalant shrug, Mulder pushing aside the inquisitive part of his brain that wanted to point out that she looked like hell, knowing that he had caused it and knowing that he couldn't do that to himself or to her. "I'm surprised to see you here, Scully. It doesn't seem like the kind of place that you'd come to. Unless I finally rubbed off on you after all?"

She chuckled this time, the sound like bells from heaven to him. Looking away so that he couldn't see the embarrassment on her face, she cleared her throat gently.

"Well I...it helped me feel like I was still connected to you. Even if it were only in some small way that only I understood. And I guess I never could fully give up and accept that I wouldn't see you again."

He felt his face smiling at her words, wondering that she travelled so far just in case she saw him or just to feel a bit nearer to him. Lapsing into a more comfortable silence, Mulder let the warmth that could only come with Scully being near wash over him, secretly enjoying every minute of the walk. Somewhere deep within him, he felt some of the bitterness and cynical thoughts that he had bred since he left start to be washed away, his old self coming back to him again.

"I'm glad you came, Scully," he murmured after a moment, his voice raising her spirits and causing her to gasp as a flood of emotions washed over her again at his gentle look. She swallowed them back, knowing that this wasn't the time.

"I was thinking of sticking around for a couple of days. Do you think I could visit?" she asked timidly, seeing him hesitate for a moment. "I have to be back in DC after that," she added, and saw him nod.

Pulling a notepad out of his pocket, Mulder scribbled down and address and ripped it off, handing it to her. Their fingers touched for just a moment as she took it from him, but Mulder felt like electricity had ripped through him at touching her again, judging from her face that she felt the same.

"Take care, Scully," he told her, leaving her standing outside the town hall where they had started. She looked up in surprise, not realising that they had made it back there.

"You too, Mulder," she whispered, knowing that he was too far away to hear, but hoping that he knew anyway. "Thank God I finally found you."

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><p><strong>So there we go, that's the next bit! Hope you all enjoyed it and thanks again for reading, and please let me know what you think! Have a good weekend :)<strong>


	3. Agent Down

**Hi everyone! Whoo, I managed to get a longer chapter sorted this time yay! Thank you so much to everyone that's reading and for the really nice reviews! :) Hope this part is OK :)**

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><p>Mulder was not really surprised when a gentle knock rang out through his small apartment the following night. Smiling to himself slightly before admonishing himself for being so stupid, he pulled the door open to reveal a nervous looking Scully standing on his doorstep.<p>

"Hi," she said, looking up at him, Mulder noticing instantly that a slight twinkle was back in her eyes again since the last time he saw her.

"Hi," he replied, leaning against the door and watching her curiously.

"Can I come in?"

Standing back with a nod, Mulder watched as she slipped past him, taking his time to regroup as he shut the door behind her. Seeing Scully here of all places so out of the blue had really thrown him. When he turned back again, he saw that she was standing tensely in the middle of the living room, watching him with a mixture of hope, love and sadness on her face. His heart beat painfully against his chest for a moment. He had never seen her so not composed before.

Sitting down gently on his sofa, he gestured for her to take a seat. "Do you want something to drink?" he asked eventually, seeing her shake her head.

"I wanted to come because..." she cut off for a moment, frowning slightly as she looked down at her hands. "We have to talk, Mulder. We have to sort this out before I leave," she blurted, looking up to see the surprise on his face.

He didn't answer for a moment, sitting back on the sofa and looking sadly at Scully as she leant forwards on her knees, her hands clasped together.

"I must admit, Scully, I'm surprised you went to all this effort to find me when I was so careful to cover my tracks."

She smiled gently back at him. "I just don't work without you. I had to find you." She paused. "I looked everywhere for you when you left, but I never gave up hoping that I'd find you one day."

He nodded at her, sighing sadly. "I can't be hurt like that again, Scully because it nearly killed me."

Sensing that he was unwilling to go further down that route, she leant back, crossing her legs easily. "What have you been doing with yourself all this time, Mulder?" she asked, watching as he smiled genuinely at her, wondering how she had caught his train of thought so easily after everything that had passed between them.

"Well, I've been working. I work on a farm, and my boss is great. I love being outside, it's just a complete change, Scully. It's just what I think I needed."

She nodded. "So I see," she replied with a teasing smile, nodding at his muscled arms. He blushed slightly, chuckling.

They chatted for hours, both of them relaxing more and more in each other's company. They were both surprised that the other seemed so pleased to be with them again, both brains working overtime to understand what it all meant. Scully felt so much better, not having laughed or just talked about nothing since Mulder left. Eventually, though, the tiredness in her eyes got the better of her, and she stifled a yawn, standing up. She might have imagined it, but she was sure she saw a sadness in Mulder's eyes telling her that he didn't want her to go.

"Well, it's late, Mulder, and I'm afraid I'm still tired from the journey," she told him gently, moving towards the door.

Mulder stood and followed her with a nod. "It's the heat, it takes a bit of getting used to."

Turning around, Scully opened her mouth to say something, her eyes meeting Mulder's deep brown ones looking at her softly, and the words left her mind. The connection that she had missed for such a long time was obviously just as strong as it had once been, as she found her body moving naturally towards him, noticing that Mulder was doing the same. Not wanting to lose the trust that she had just established, she stopped herself suddenly, pulling her eyes away with difficulty.

Reaching up, she cupped his cheek gently, her thumb running over the soft skin tenderly. He leant into her touch unconsciously, wanting to feel her nearer but his mind just in enough control to remind him it was a bad idea. Standing on tiptoes, she pulled his head down, carefully kissing his forehead, her lips lingering just a moment longer than was strictly necessary as she didn't want to leave.

"Goodbye, Mulder," she whispered, smiling lovingly at him before turning and closing the door behind her. She leant against the cool wood for a moment, willing her heart to slow and her legs to stop shaking before she stepped off his porch, heading towards her hotel.

Mulder stood rooted to the spot, his hand moving unconsciously over his cheek where her small, delicate hand had been only moments before, telling himself that this was not some kind of dream. His mind desperately sought for something concrete to go on, the mix of emotions washing over him confusing him. He was undeniably still completely in love with her, but the hurt still stood out strongly. Pushing away the thought of how comfortable he felt around her, Mulder wandered through to his bedroom, determined to push all thoughts of his former partner from his mind and to come up with an action plan tomorrow when he was better able to think clearly.

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><p>Scully paced around her room, wringing her hands as she tried to answer the question of whether to go and see Mulder again and talk about what she really came here to say, or whether to give him some space. Sighing, she stopped, her eyes falling onto the Apollo key-ring that Mulder had given her so long ago. Grabbing it with a smile, she walked to the door, quickly slipping out and walking the now familiar route to Mulder's apartment.<p>

Knocking at his door, she was surprised when no answer came. Knocking a bit louder, she wandered around to the side of the house, peering through the windows.

"Won't be no good, love, he left," came an accented voice from behind her, and Scully span around, facing a young man who respectfully removed his cap for her. "I's under strict instructions not to open that there room for anyone but your good self."

"He left? Did he say where he was going?" Scully asked desperately as she stood aside to let the man open the room.

"Can't say that he did, ma'am. He just up and left, just as sudden as he came all them there weeks ago."

Rushing into the room as the door opened, Scully felt her heart break again as she found it empty. Her head fell into her hands, and she fought back the tears that were threatening to fall, wondering how this man could wound her so deeply every time.

"There now, girl. I'm sure he'll give y'all a call when he gets back."

She nodded numbly, wandering around the unfamiliar room as if a lead weight had been tied around her neck. Glancing up, her eyes rested on an envelope with her name on it again in Mulder's unmistakable handwriting. Picking it up gently, she slid it into her pocket, nodding sadly to the young man who watched her in concern.

"Hell, don't leave in this state! Come back for a coffee if you like?" he offered, seeing her shake her head.

"No, I have somewhere to be. Thanks."

Wandering away, she walked out onto the country lane that she had walked down with Mulder before, the happy, cosy feeling of the place lost without him. Seeing a bench in front of her, she sat down, taking out the envelope. She turned it over in her hands a few times, not sure that she had the will power to open it. Sighing, she finally ripped it open, unfolding the piece of paper that she found in it.

_Scully_

_By the time you read this, I will already have left. But I wanted you to know that I feel exactly the same. I don't work without you either, and I have missed you so much these long weeks that I thought my heart was going to break. I'm glad that you came, and that we got to share this time together again, and it reminded me of happier times. But I can't risk my heart again, and being around you reminded me that I still love you. So please forgive the formality of a letter, but I knew I could never leave if I saw you again. _

_My love with you always, Scully, and take care of yourself. Have the good life you deserve._

_Mulder_

She jumped as the tears running down her face dropped onto the paper, wiping her face and folding the precious letter carefully away again into her coat pocket. She let her head fall into her hands, sobbing without the hope of anyone giving her comfort.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you, Mulder. I don't know if I can let you walk away," she sobbed to nobody, wishing that she had pushed the conversation the night before and forced Mulder to listen, but hoping that she would have more time with him. Not caring that the sun was going down and a chill was starting to settle in the country air, Scully sat alone on the bench, letting all of the emotions she had pushed down out as she cried for the man she may never see again, but who she would always love wholly and unconditionally.

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><p>Months passed slowly, as Mulder settled into another community, and another farm. He was surprised when his usually silent phone rang one night as he sat enjoying a beer on his porch, watching the stars glinting peacefully and enjoying the freedom of the country.<p>

"Mulder," he said gently, his heart pounding without reason as he wondered who could have gotten his number.

"Mulder dude! Long time no speak!" came the friendly voice of Langley, making Mulder grin happily.

"Langley? God, it's good to hear from you guys! How are you?"

"We're good Mulder, still doing the work for the greater good. Listen, we need to set up a meeting for you with Skinner."

Mulder frowned slightly, clearing his throat. "I don't work for the FBI anymore, Langley, and I'm not interested in coming back."

He heard Langley sigh uncomfortably on the other end. "You're gonna want to take this meeting, Mulder," he told him sadly, almost hearing the confusion on the other end of the phone.

"I don't understand. What could Skinner possibly want to tell me that he can't tell me over the phone? Obviously you guys had no problem finding my number."

Langley laughed. "It's all those pizza orders that gave it away. Just trust us on this one, you really need to speak to him."

Bemused, Mulder rubbed his face in confusion. "Fine, tell him to meet me at the cafe on the corner of Long Road tomorrow at twelve. I'm assuming you guys already know where that is?" he asked, hearing Langley tut at him.

"Of course we do. What do you take us for, amateurs?"

"Hey, Langley, how come you guys never got in touch with me before if you could have found me?"

He heard him shuffle uncomfortably on the other end of the phone. "Scully begged us for months to track you down, Mulder, but you made it pretty clear you didn't want to be found. You know how she is, we can't lie to her. So we thought if we honestly didn't know where you were, then she wouldn't be able to make us tell her."

Mulder nodded, suddenly uncomfortable. "OK. Well I guess I'll be speaking to you soon."

"Yeah, keep it cool, Mulder."

He replaced the phone on the cradle carefully, all of his senses on alert as he realised that it had to be something serious for the Lone Gunmen to finally agree to contact him. And his heart leapt painfully as he guessed that it would have something to do with Scully.

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><p>Skinner smiled up from over his coffee as he saw Mulder appear in the cafe. He headed straight over, nodding to the waitress who soon brought him his usual order over.<p>

"It's good to see you, Mulder. You're looking well," Skinner said, not missing the slightly haunted look that Mulder still had now that Scully was out of his life again. He shrugged.

"Thanks, you too, sir," Mulder replied, half amused at his slip, still calling Skinner sir.

"So, where have you been all this time?" Skinner asked, stirring his coffee and looking up and Mulder, who was scrutinising him carefully, noticing the strain on his superior's face.

They chatted idly for a while, catching up on what had been happening in their lives since Mulder had left. Eventually, Mulder sighed and looked up straight into Skinner's eyes.

"However nice it is to catch up again, sir, you didn't come all this way to ask me what I've been doing. What do you really want?"

He was surprised when Skinner took off his glasses, rubbing his face tiredly. "I need your help, Mulder."

"I have no interest in working for the FBI anymore," he replied stubbornly, seeing Skinner sigh patiently at him.

"I think you might change your mind when you know the circumstances."

On edge, Mulder willed his heart to slow down, swallowing painfully. "I don't understand."

Skinner sighed sadly, not really knowing how Mulder was going to take the information he was about to give him.

"We have a problem with Agent Scully," he started, seeing Mulder close his eyes as if he were in pain, Mulder wishing that he had been wrong in that assumption. "I...I don't know who else to ask, Mulder. I have no idea how to help her."

"Is she alright?" Mulder asked him, seeing him nod reassuringly, reaching his hand out to calm him at the raised tone in his voice.

"Physically, she's fine." He sighed again, knowing he had reached dangerous territory. "She's not doing well, though, Mulder. She was kidnapped on a case recently. Nobody knows what happened to her while she was there, she refuses to talk about it, but she hasn't been the same since. I think this was the final blow. She's been struggling ever since you left."

He saw concern and anger cross over Mulder's face in equal amounts. Rubbing at his face, Mulder fought back the emotions that were raging through him.

"She vanished recently, but we managed to trace her to the house where she grew up. I'm here to ask you to come back with me, Mulder, no strings attached. But I honestly think that you are the only person who will be able to reach her now."

Mulder's face was the picture of grief as he looked back at Skinner, for once everything that he was thinking showing clearly on his face. He cursed himself for not helping her when he had the chance, even though he knew that he had no way of knowing that she would be in trouble then.

"Sir, you know I'd do anything to help Scully, no matter what's happened between us. And I would gladly come back with you for her. But I honestly think I am the last person that Scully would listen to right now."

He stopped as Skinner held his hand up, smiling gently at him. "I thought you might say that, Mulder. Look, I know that something happened between you two, but I can tell you without a doubt that she never stopped loving you, Mulder, not for a second in all this time that you've been gone."

Mulder shrugged, looking moodily down at his coffee. "She never loved me in the first place, sir. That's what the problem is. Was."

"She was afraid to love you, Mulder! For someone who is so smart, sometimes you're so stupid! But that hasn't changed how she feels." He stopped, seeing Mulder look up at him in surprise and confusion. "Look, if you'll come with me, I'll prove it to you before you leave to find her."

Mulder nodded slowly. "OK, I'll try. No matter what happened between us, I'll always help her in any way that I can. But I still think you have the wrong man."

Skinner sighed at Mulder's stubbornness, throwing some money onto the table and standing up to usher Mulder out of the cafe before he could change his mind.

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><p>They stopped in DC on the way to Scully's old house for Mulder to pick up a car. Skinner ushered him through the security in the FBI building, heading up to his office.<p>

"Go to your office, Mulder. There's something there you need to see."

He smiled. "It's not my office anymore, sir."

"You might change your mind once you realise," Skinner told him, stepping into the elevator that he just arrived and nodding at the stairs for Mulder to head down.

Pushing open the door, Mulder smiled happily at the familiarity of the place where his life's work had always been. He had to admit, it felt good to be back, no matter if it was briefly or under the current circumstances. Looking around, it suddenly hit him that absolutely nothing had changed since the moment he had left the office, even down to his name plate and mug still sitting in his usual place. The only things that stood out in his photographic memory were two lists pinned onto the board on the back wall. It looked as though Scully had been expecting him to walk through the door at any moment the last time she had been there.

Heading over to the piece of paper, Mulder felt his heart beat painfully at what he saw. One was a list of sci-fi conventions, and other likely places that Mulder would have gone, written in Scully's neat handwriting. Red lines had been drawn through at various stages, where Scully had obviously gone to look for him, and he had not been there. He jumped as the door opened and a man he had never seen before stood in the doorway.

"Agent Mulder?" the man asked in surprise, heading over to him and shaking his hand. "God, it's good to finally meet you!"

"Just plain Mulder now," he replied, smiling at this friendly man. "I'm sorry, I don't know who you are."

"John Doggett. I'm Agent Scully's new partner."

Mulder nodded. "Pleased to meet you."

"Not as pleased as I am, I can tell you! We looked everywhere for you these past months, and I have to admit the only reason I didn't give up was Agent Scully's insistence that she would find you eventually. And, well, you probably know better than any of us that she ain't a person it's a good idea to argue with."

Opening one of the filing cabinets, Doggett replaced a file and pushed it shut, smiling at Mulder. "Can I get you a drink or something?"

Mulder shook his head. "I'm not staying, I just stopped by." He picked up his mug with a smile from the desk, seeing Doggett watching him curiously. "Actually, I'm a bit confused. Nothing's changed in here."

Doggett smiled and chuckled. "That would be because Agent Scully nearly killed the last couple of people that tried to move anything in here. The boss came for you name plate and she threw such a hissy fit that he gave up and left it."

Mulder smiled at the idea of Scully throwing a 'hissy fit'. "Why didn't she want anything moved?"

Doggett sighed sadly. "Well, she told me that she wanted everything to stay how you liked it for when you got back." He smiled at the shocked man in front of her. "She never did give up hope that you'd come back. She had it in her head that there was something she needed to explain to you, though she never would tell me what it was."

Skinner poked his head through, secretly pleased that Mulder had had the chance to meet Doggett, who was blunt enough to tell Mulder what he needed to know.

"Ready to go?" he asked him, seeing Mulder nod.

"Good to meet you," he said to Doggett, seeing him nod back.

"Likewise. Good luck finding Agent Scully, Mr Mulder. We need her back here, and, well, you're the right guy for the job. I'd swear the only thing I've heard since I got here is your name."

Mulder nodded in surprise, smiling before following Skinner out of the room.

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><p>Mulder looked in surprise at Skinner as he pulled up in front of Scully's apartment. He nodded back at him.<p>

"Just need to fetch some things for you to take to Agent Scully," he offered in explanation, leading Mulder up to the all too familiar apartment and opening the door with a key that he had got from somewhere.

Wandering through to the bedroom, Mulder took the opportunity to look around while he was alone. He was surprised to see how messy the place was for the usually neat and tidy Scully. Nothing much seemed to have changed, which was reassuring.

Looking across, he noticed that the answer machine was flashing with hundreds of messages. He swallowed painfully as he realised that she must have avoided contact with so many people since he left. Pressing the play button, he waited patiently for the first message to play.

"_Dana, this is your mother again. Listen, I don't know why you're not taking my calls anymore, but we have to talk. This is getting ridiculous, Dana! Fox isn't coming back, and you're going to have to find a way to deal with this. We're all here for you honey, but wishing alone just isn't going to work, and I hate to see you so sad. Please call me back so I know that you're alright. Love you."_

He was surprised when he heard the beep signalling the next message. He swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat painfully.

_Hi Dana, this is Sally. Did you forget our meeting last night? I'm a bit worried because your mom told me what happened with your partner. Listen, I think we need a girly night OK? I'll maybe try you again a bit later. Speak to you soon, take care Dana!"_

He pressed the stop button, his hand pressing against his eyes as he heard enough. Skinner reappeared with a bag in his hand, noticing the change in Mulder's mood instantly.

"What's up, Mulder?" he asked, seeing the younger man look up at him behind his hands, his eyes sad.

"I'm an idiot. I can't believe I didn't realise how she felt. I was just too caught up in what had happened to see."

Skinner patted his shoulder awkwardly. "Don't beat yourself up about it, Mulder. Scully didn't want you to know how she felt."

"I asked her to marry me," he blurted out after a moment, seeing the surprise on Skinner's face and knowing that Scully hadn't told him. "I asked her to marry me and she said no. Can you explain that?"

Skinner thought for a moment, before looking up at Mulder sadly. "No, I can't, but there's no reason I would be able to. Did you ask her to explain it herself?"

Thinking back, Mulder shook his head with a groan, closing his eyes. Skinner clapped him on the back.

"Well, now's your chance to get your answers."

Mulder nodded. "If she wants to talk to me after I've been such an ass, which I doubt."

Skinner held out a bag to him. "Mulder, she travelled half way across America to see you. I think you'll find a way to get her to listen." He paused, seeing Mulder smile. "This is some clothes and things she'll probably need. And I put something in there that might help you that I think she probably misses."

Mulder looked at him in confusion, seeing him smile reassuringly. Taking the bag, he wandered to the door, everything seeming to have hit him all at once and turned his world upside down. Determined to make this right, he practically ran to the car, Skinner struggling to keep up with his now fully prepared agent, hoping he had been right in his assumptions about the pair.

* * *

><p>Mulder stopped at a diner part way to the house where Scully was thought to be staying. He had left Skinner back at Scully's apartment, who had wished him luck and on a personal note had asked him to bring Scully back, as he was fond of the little agent. Mulder sighed, having no idea what he was going to do once he got there, but determined to make her listen any way that he could.<p>

Reaching across, he opened the bag that Skinner had given him, wondering what the mystery object was that Skinner had thought would help and that Scully would miss. At first, he thought that it was Scully's FBI badge that he found slipping between her clothes, but then he realised that was just Skinner's brand of wishful thinking. Digging further, his hand closed around a photo frame, which he pulled out.

He had no idea who had taken the picture or when, but it showed him and Scully laughing together at something. Even in the still picture his heart raced at the happy twinkle in her eyes, cursing himself that he caused her to lose that. She was looking at him so lovingly through the smile, and he knew that he was doing the same, even though he didn't look at his own picture.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, vowing again to make her listen to him. Heading out of the diner, he didn't even notice that he had hardly touched the coffee he had just ordered, determined to reach Scully's house as soon as possible.

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><p><strong>So that's the next bit done! Hope that it was OK, and thank you so very much for reading! Please let me know what you think! Thank you for your patience with all the mistakes and plot holes and that - I'm still learning! :)<strong>


	4. Finding A Friend

**Hi everyone! So I finally managed to update, sorry for the delay. This chapter is definitely dedicated to Trixfan for all her kind words and encouragement. Hope it's OK :)**

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><p>Knocking gently at the door in front of him, he couldn't blame Scully for picking this as her hideout. It was a pretty cottage with ivy growing around the door, set away from the other cottages a bit. All around were hills and countryside, and he knew that it had to be the most peaceful place she could have picked.<p>

Getting no answer at the door, Mulder wandered around the side of the pretty house. Looking up, he easily saw her small form sitting on a swing at the top of the hill behind the house, looking out over the view. Smiling at seeing her, he instantly made his way up the hill.

As he got nearer to her, he could instantly see the change in her. She was hunched over in a baggy cardigan, not paying the slightest bit of attention to anything around her, as if her mind had wandered somewhere else. It was the picture of a broken woman, and his heart broke to see her in such as state.

"Scully," he said gently, seeing her jump and look around in fright.

Her jaw dropped as she looked at him in shock, obviously not expecting to see him standing there. He watched as a variety of emotions flickered across her face, from surprise to anger to hurt, before finally setting on a deep sadness that seemed to reach right into her bones to settle around her heart.

"I can't do this right now, Mulder," she replied softly, standing from the swing. "I'm sorry."

She walked quickly back to the house, leaving a heartbroken Mulder standing with his hand on the rope of the now empty swing, watching her walk away from him as he had walked away from her so many times recently.

Following her slowly into the house, Mulder felt his heart drop as he realised that she had locked herself in her room, shutting him out. He stood outside the door and leant his forehead gently against it.

"Scully," he called gently, getting no answer and hearing no movement. "I'm going to stay on the couch tonight. You don't have to talk to me, but I'm staying for a while because I want to make sure you're alright." He faltered slightly, not wanting to have this conversation through a closed door. "We've both been so wrong in this thing between us, Scully, me more so than you. And I just...I hope we can sort it out."

Leaving her to her own devices, he made his way to the sofa, cuddling up under his coat and stealing a cushion to use as a pillow.

* * *

><p>The following day, Mulder waited until mid-afternoon before deciding to check on Scully. He had not seen her all day, and was starting to get a bit worried that he had chased her away from her safe haven. He shouted through her door, but got no response. Since she hadn't said anything about him staying on the couch, he took that to mean that it was alright, mostly because it suited him to think that, rather than he thought she meant it that way.<p>

By early evening he was starting to really worry about her. Knocking gently and getting no answer, he pushed open the door slowly, waiting for a shout and getting none. The room was empty.

Heading up the hill again, he soon found her sitting in just a T-shirt despite the cold weather, with her legs crossed on the grass. He could tell that she was still on edge from her posture, despite being on her own, and his heart went out to her.

Not really knowing what to do, he sat down next to her, saying nothing. He felt the familiar Scully-warmth cross over him again, not wanting to admit that he felt like he was complete sitting with her again, and hoping that she felt the same despite the seriousness of the situation.

Eventually she looked across at him, hurt written clearly across her face. "Why are you here, Mulder?" she asked softly, her eyes searching his for a brief moment before she looked away, closing the connection.

He thought for a moment, wanting to be honest. "Because you mean the world to me," he replied, seeing her close her eyes briefly. "I don't know how to help," he eventually admitted.

He was shocked when she looked back up at him, her eyes cold and the barriers firmly in place again. She had shut him out completely.

"If you want to help, go home. There's nothing to save here."

Standing up, she moved away from him to sit on the swing, wrapping her arms around herself in comfort again and ignoring the fact that Mulder remained on the hill. She was surprised when he didn't leave, and instead came to stand directly in front of her so that she had to look up at him to see the sorrow and compassion in his eyes.

"There's always something to save with you, Scully," he told her gently.

Tears started to run gently down her face as she huddled closer in herself, all of the emotions that Mulder was stirring up coming to the surface. He hated to see her cry, his hand moving automatically forwards to wipe the tears away, surprised and worried when she pulled away sharply, not letting him touch her.

"You don't care about me, Mulder. We have to call this a day, because it's not doing either of us any good."

"Scully, you don't understand. There's been a horrible mix up, you have to listen to me..." he started, before the cold eyes looked at him again.

"Save it, Mulder. I can't deal with anymore hurt right now, I'm only just holding on as it is."

He looked at her face, knowing that she was hurting so much and wanting to do nothing but wrap her in his arms and hold her until it all drained away. He sighed.

"That's why I'm here," he whispered, reaching out for her.

His hand touched her arm gently, her whole body moving away from his touch with a flinch, making him frown again that she was so nervous around him. Angry and hurt he could understand, but not nervous. Not only that, she was freezing and didn't seem to care. Taking his coat off, he held it out to her, the cold hitting him through his jumper.

"Here, Scully, put this on," he said, holding it out to her, seeing her open her mouth to argue. "No arguments! You're freezing. Please," he asked, seeing her sigh and take it from his hands.

She nodded, looking away and expecting him to leave. Crouching down so that he was on her level rather than standing towering down at her, he waiting until she looked around at him.

"Come back into the house with me. It's too cold to be out here, and you must be tired."

Thinking for a moment, she eventually nodded, hopping off the swing and rushing to the house before Mulder had a chance to catch up with her. He sighed, breaking into a jog in an effort to catch up.

He caught up with her just as she was about to lock her bedroom door, his hand putting gentle pressure on the door so that she couldn't shut him out. She jumped away from the door as if she had been shot, standing the other side of the bed from him. He sighed, hating that he kept scaring her unintentionally.

"Scully, I'm going to stay, and there's nothing you can do about it. But I'm not going to force you into doing or saying anything that you don't want to, and there's nothing for you to be scared of. I just hope that someday you'll trust me like you used to and let me help you however I can."

He stopped, seeing that her eyes were piercingly on him, some of the fear gone and tears in their place at his words. Nodding, he went to step out of the room.

"Mulder," she said quietly, but he heard and turned back. "There's a spare room across the hall."

She blushed, seeing a huge smile spread over his face that she had accepted him staying. He nodded.

"Good night, Scully."

Closing the door gently behind him, he left her alone, not realising that she spent most of the night crying into her pillow, all of the confusion, hate and fear pouring out of her as she eventually slipped into the freedom of sleep.

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><p><strong>So that's chapter four! Hope that was OK, and you're all still enjoying the story :) Thank you so very much for reading, and please let me know what you think! :)<strong>


	5. A Shaky Start

**Hi everyone, I'm so sorry it's taken me a bit longer than normal to get this next bit out to you. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing the last chapter! :)**

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><p>When Scully woke up and wandered through to the kitchen the following day, there was no sign of Mulder. She pulled her old cardigan closer around her, annoyed with herself for thinking that Mulder had actually been there when it was obviously some strange kind of dream.<p>

Then the cup of coffee sat waiting for her on the worktop caught her eye, and she felt a small smile tugging at her lips despite herself. He had been there, and by the looks of it he meant to come back. Walking over, she found a note next to the cup:

_Scully_

_I went shopping, your fridge is empty. Be back soon_

_Love, Mulder_

She sipped at the drink in confusion, not sure what all her feelings were telling her about Mulder being back. Unwilling to think about it further, she headed for the shower, enjoying feeling the water beating down on her and running away, as if it could wash away all of the bad things that she kept feeling.

A long time later, she finally managed to make it out of the shower, slipping into a T-shirt and sitting herself on the end of the sofa nearest the door. She flicked on the TV, not bothering to change the channel. She wasn't really watching it anyway, her mind unable to leave the thought of her partner wandering her house and what he could be after, or what it all meant. She shivered slightly, the cold hitting her again as her hair dripped comfortingly down her back, allowing herself the luxury of her thoughts, especially those about happier days with a certain someone.

* * *

><p>Mulder used the spare key that he had found in the kitchen to let himself back in, carrying tons of bags of food that he had fetched. He saw Scully instantly, saying nothing as he headed into the kitchen to put away the shopping and seeing that she probably hadn't even noticed that he had come back.<p>

Looking back through the kitchen door once his job was done, he sighed sadly as he saw her sitting bolt upright on the sofa still, her face turned away from the TV and fixed firmly on the floor as she sat lost in her own thoughts. A lump that seemed so familiar rose in his throat again as he watched, wondering how it had come to this between them when they had been so close before. He wondered what atrocity Scully must have suffered for the strong woman to be reduced to this.

Making a decision, he walked over to her, seeing her look up at him warily. He put a cup of coffee onto the table in front of her, and held up the DVD he had brought back with him.

"Pretty Woman?" he asked innocently, seeing the beginnings of a smile on her face at the thought of him watching Pretty Woman. He smiled innocently back at her, popping the DVD into the machine and seeing some of the guardedness leaving her face when he picked up his own mug, settling onto the seat furthest from her. Secretly, he was thrilled when she didn't leave when he arrived.

A few moments into the DVD, he glanced across to notice that Scully was shivering quietly, his eyes quickly glancing over her T-shirt and still slightly wet hair. His heart went out to her, and he wandered to her room, fetching the soft, warm dressing gown from the back of her chair.

Moving to put it around her shoulders, Mulder stopped his hands as he saw her flinch, knowing he was going to touch her. Instead, he laid it over the arm of the sofa, smiling gently as she looked nervously and took his seat again.

"What did I miss, did the heart throb come into it yet?" he asked, seeing he smile and shake her head. "Put that on, Scully, you look freezing."

He turned his head back towards the TV, watching her out of the corner of his eye and relaxing slightly when he saw that she did as he asked. She settled down into the warmth and softness of the dressing gown with a contented sigh, not noticing that Mulder smiled as she did so, feeling instantly better.

Throughout the film she risked slight glances at Mulder, careful to drop her eyes instantly if he looked as though he were going to look round. She shook her head, wondering why he was really there, and what he was hoping for. Sternly telling herself off for being so judgemental, she was surprised when he stomach flipped over as he turned and smiled at her, shocked that she still felt so strongly for him after everything. She pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind, determined to enjoy the film and the bit of time she had with him.

* * *

><p>Looking over as the credits started to roll, Mulder smiled lovingly as he saw that Scully had fallen asleep. Even in sleep she had a slight frown on her face, and he tenderly leaned over, brushing a stand of hair from her face.<p>

Lifting her easily, Mulder walked gently to her bedroom, lying her softly on her bed and pulling the covers over her. She wriggled slightly with a moan, the frown deepening for a moment before she fell into a deep sleep again. Mulder stood watching over her for a moment, his brain working over time. He was shocked at how little she weighed, knowing that she must have lost a lot of weight over the past few months. He sighed sadly, wishing he could stay watching her forever, but knowing that he had to do something useful.

Heading back downstairs, he pulled out the ingredients for Scully's favourite meal, easily remembering what that was as he remembered all of the other little things that made Scully smile. Keeping his fingers crossed, he hoped that the smell of something that she enjoyed eating would encourage her to eat a little more.

* * *

><p>As Scully woke up, some strangely familiar and delicious smell met her. Sitting up, she grabbed a jumper and padded down to the kitchen, surprised to see that Mulder was indeed still there and was the cause of the smell. Unsure what to do with herself, she leaned against the doorframe with a small sigh.<p>

Mulder turned around on hearing the small noise and grinned at her, seeing her watching him with the same nervous look. He pointed to the pan.

"Spaghetti alla Mulder," he quipped, pleased when she smiled slightly at the joke, hovering uncertainly in the doorway. "Just as you like it if I remembered right."

He noticed her unease, and pulled out one of the high chairs from beneath her breakfast bar, pushing it so that she was close enough to watch what he was doing, but far enough away to feel at ease and to be able to talk if she wanted to. Gratefully she perched on the chair stiffly, missing Mulder's sad look as he realised that he hadn't seen her relax once since he got there.

"Smells good," she admitted after a moment, seeing him turn with a surprised smile.

"Yeah? Well, only the best for you, Scully." He paused to throw some more ingredients in, having to admit to himself that it did smell good. "It'll be done in a minute."

He chatted away, his mood improving when Scully smiled in the right places, even offering a word or two into the conversation from time to time. Grabbing a spoon from the drawer, he dipped it into the sauce, carefully holding it out to Scully.

"Here, try," he offered, glad that she listened and leant forwards to take the sauce from the spoon.

She licked her lips, smiling the biggest smile he had seen from her since he got there. "It's good," she reassured him, and he smiled back, flicking off the heat.

"I'll trust you then. Dinner is served," he chuckled with an Italian accent, spooning spaghetti out onto the plate and hearing Scully chuckle as he dropped half of it back into the bowl when it slipped away. He eventually managed to get it all out onto the plates, passing Scully her portion with a knife, fork and spoon.

"You don't have to eat yours with me, Scully, if you're more comfortable eating elsewhere?" he offered, happy when she shrugged and sat down opposite him.

Tasting a bit, his eyes lit up when he realised that he had it spot on. He wolfed down a huge bite, Scully actually laughing for the first time when a bit of spaghetti that he sucked flew up and smacked against his cheek.

"You laugh now, but I still remember somebody trying to eat those ribs on a case once..." he quipped, seeing her grin widen as she remembered too.

"It wasn't my fault they were messy," she replied with a slight pout.

"Well, it's not my fault the Italians invented long spaghetti," Mulder replied, seeing her smile again as she took a dainty bite of her dinner.

Mulder wolfed down his dinner, chatting and making sure that the atmosphere wasn't awkward the whole time he was sitting there. He was a little dismayed that Scully didn't eat much from her plate, but reminded himself that at least he had seen her eat something nutritious, and that would have to do for now.

Scully wrapped her arms around herself in the comfy looking baggy jumper as soon as she had finished, pushing from the table and padding off to her room shyly. Mulder watched her leave, knowing that he was heading in the right direction, but wishing that he had a better idea of what to do to help her.

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><p>Heading to bed later that night, Mulder decided to check on Scully before turning in. He wasn't surprised when her room is empty, and once he reached the top of the hill she was sitting there again. Standing behind her, he sighed gently, wishing there was something he could do to make this better for her. She was already shivering from the cold.<p>

He sat down next to her, careful to leave some distance between them, and watched her softly. She sighed, resting her head on her crossed arms which were balanced on her knees, making it clear to Mulder that she was closed off to him still. Patiently, he waited for her to take her time, just happy to be near her.

"I like it up here. It's peaceful and not complicated," she whispered after a few moments, and Mulder smiled gently back at her, despite the fact that she hadn't turned towards him, and he knew that she wouldn't see.

"It is beautiful."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence again as Mulder gave her the time that she needed to sort out what she was thinking. Eventually, she spoke again.

"You have me confused," she admitted, sighing slightly. Mulder raised his eyebrows in surprise, waiting patiently for her to carry on. "After all this time, you were the last person I expected to see here. I just...I don't know where I stand, or when you're going to leave again."

Mulder was shocked, just remembering to close his mouth that had dropped open before speaking.

"Scully, I'm not going to leave. I promise you that," he said, seeing her close her eyes as if she were in pain. "I should have called you sooner, but it's only recently that I realised how wrong I had been about everything."

She looked up at him with frown, confused about what he had just said. He smiled reassuringly at her before she looked away again.

"Skinner brought me, and he showed me how much you actually cared about me. I'm sorry, Scully, I should have given you a chance to explain your choice, especially after you came half way across America to sort it out. I'm so sorry, and I just hope it's not too late to sort this out."

She sat in silence, her gaze lost in the distance, but he knew that she was listening. He could see the slight softening of her face as she listened to his words, feeling hopeful again that she was at least letting him stay. He smiled.

"I missed you like crazy, Scully. And I still love you just as much as I did before."

He was surprised when she put her head down on her knees, sobbing as her hands came around her shoulders so she was hunched up into a ball. He felt his heart breaking to see her so sad, his hand moving out to her before he remembered to stop it in time.

"Why are you crying?" he asked gently, hearing her trying to control her sobs.

"I never thought I was going to see you again," she replied between sobs, her hands tightening around her shoulders. "I went everywhere to try and find you and explain to you. I feel like...like such a failure because I messed everything up."

He sighed, wanting to fold her in his arms and knowing that he couldn't. "You're not a failure, Scully, that was my fault." He paused for a moment, seeing that she was still crying. "Do you want me to go?"

She shook her head, suddenly sitting up resolutely and wiping her eyes as the coldness came back into her eyes again.

"I don't know what you want, Mulder, or if I can give it to you. But I do know that if you're going to leave, I'd rather you did it now."

He sighed gently. "I'm not going to leave Scully. Not unless you really want me to, and even then you'd have a fight on your hands." She smiled slightly, and he grinned back. "I want a lot of things. But right now, I'll settle for just being with you, and trying to help."

He knew he had said the wrong thing instantly as all of her barriers shot up again. "You can't help me."

"Well, I'm willing to try," he replied softly, seeing her gaze in the distance again and knowing that he had lost the small window that he had. He stood slowly, looking down at her lovingly.

"Are you ready to come in yet?"

Shaking her head, he nodded, walking back to the house and leaving her to her own thoughts, hoping that she would come to the right conclusions where he was concerned.

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><p><strong>So that's the next bit! I think Mulder's finally starting to break through some of the Scully thaw! Hope it was OK, and please let me know what you think! Thanks so much for reading everyone :)<strong>


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